I'm lost and stupid without you.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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