Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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