my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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