Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
