How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
