I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
