My hand turned me down
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
