Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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