i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
