no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
