he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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