so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
