Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
