the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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