definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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