i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
