Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
