I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
