I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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