Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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