u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my being single is dangerous.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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