He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
