Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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