just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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