You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
