I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
