Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize