anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
