Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
