My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
