Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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