So drunk its hurt
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
