People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
