Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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