Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
