office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
