What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
