can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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