just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
