Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
