remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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