So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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