I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I can't turn off my feet"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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