When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
