He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
