I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize