How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
