so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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