I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
