Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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