she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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