Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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