I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
