I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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