I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
