Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize