You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
