shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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