it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
